Living Life Together

Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere, how blessed I am by the community and examples of Christ-followers God has given me.

My whole extended family, from the time I was born, has prayed for me and nurtured my relationship with Jesus. Our homeschooling group growing up was not just fellow-homeschoolers, but fellow Christians. When we moved to Indiana when I was in middle school, He allowed us to join a small group of homeschoolers who became my best friends for many years. This group gathered twice a week for singing, prayer, and Bible study. The children were not only included, but were expected to sit through the “service,” and participate, asking and answering questions. Outside of these times of Bible study, we gathered multiple times a week to play and have fun.

When I got a little older, God moved in some huge ways (I’m not going to detail them at this time, but they’re rather ironic and funny) to place me in a small group of “young professionals” who attended my church and other area churches. We met for Bible study one week, and game night the next. We interacted and encouraged each other in our daily walk with Christ. This group is what got me through nursing school.

Now that I’ve moved to Haiti, God has consistently surrounded me by the most incredible Christian women who share my love of Haiti and are always around to listen to me and challenge my thinking. I am so blessed!

Most recently, I have started attending a home church here in Haiti. Most of these families homeschool and have many children – I feel like I’m back in the States as I was growing up! This past Sunday we had our normal morning service – singing, prayer, a sermon, and more singing. Afterwards, we shared lunch, and then the kids went outside to play and the adults continued to talk. Then it was suggested we needed to have a prayer time for several of the families in the group, and without question, all of the adults gathered around for spontaneous prayer. What an example! We don’t just gather for church, but we gather to share our love for Christ! He’s not just a Sunday morning service requirement, but He’s included in all of our interactions. He isn’t an after-thought, but the reason we exist and the reason we gather together.

I’m in awe of how God has worked in my life. I’m so grateful for the community with which He’s surrounded me. He is too good to me!

The Adventure Continues

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As many of you know, when I return to Haiti in 2 weeks, I will not be returning to stay at Children’s Lifeline, where I spent my summer. I had an incredible experience and learned so many new things. I picked up more Creole; I did my first (and 6th) sets of sutures; I made some awesome friends; I learned to ride a moto and how to buy things at the market; I learned how to live on my own; I learned (or, depending on who you ask, maybe not so much…..) how to cook for 1 person instead of 8; I acquired several new “sisters;” I renewed my relationship with my sister, which has struggled over the past few years; and so many other things.

However, as my internship drew to a close and I considered my future, I spent a lot of time praying and seeking wise council, and I decided God has called me to an orphanage up in the mountains. God’s Littlest Angels is an orphanage that does adoptions, but my main role will be NICU nurse. Families bring their very sick, malnourished, dehydrated, premature, high-risk babies to us to nurse back to health, and it will be my job to care for them.

I have such mixed emotions going into this! I’m sad to leave my friends and the familiarity of Children’s Lifeline. I know how life works there and though you can’t ever expect what’s coming in Haiti, I’m comfortable in the sense that I feel I can handle whatever does come. Which is a huge part of the reason I think God is calling me on to other things – He doesn’t allow me to get comfortable. When I get comfortable, I stop relying on Him and start relying on myself, instead.

I’m nervous because I’ve always struggled with making friends. I’ve never been part of the popular crowd and I’m so quiet and shy, I’ve just had very few friends over the years. I hope and pray I’ll make friends quickly because I start to feel lonely. But I keep reminding myself that God has always been faithful to provide exactly what I need in His perfect timing, and He won’t stop now!

I feel so inadequate. I’m worried I don’t have enough training to be these kids’ best chance at life. And then I have to stop and remind myself that I didn’t choose this. I constantly give God back the gifts He’s given me, and ask Him to use me. Therefore, it’s not me who’s caring for the babies – I’m simply His hands and feet. I so appreciate all of the encouraging comments I’ve received over the past few months. However, if you’re tempted to say something along the lines of, “you’ll be great at this,” or, “you’re an angel,” or, “I could never do something like that,” (all things that have been said to me,) give God the glory for giving me the strength to make it through each day, because it’s not me. It is all Him.

One of my favorite songs, right now, is a Creole song called Pale Pou Mwen.

The chorus says,
“Pale pou mwen, Segne, pale pou mwen.
Aji pou mwen, Segne, aji pou mwen.
Kanpe pou mwen, Segne, kanpe pou mwen.
Ou se tout sa’m bezwen.”

“Speak for me, Lord, speak for me.
Act for me, Lord, act for me.
Stand for me, Lord, stand for me.
You are all I need.”

“Lord, may it be you everyone sees when they look at me. May it be you they hear when I speak. May it be you they feel when I touch them.” – This is my prayer!

I would really appreciate all of your prayers as I continue on this journey. I’m so excited to see what my future holds!! Being at the center of God’s will is the best thing you can imagine – there is peace despite the chaos and hope despite the seemingly hopeless situations. So here’s to the next leg of this adventure!

Goodbyes

It’s official – I detest goodbyes. Last night was my last night working with my incredible coworkers. As the end of my shift drew closer and closer, I found myself getting sadder and seriously rethinking my decision to leave. 🙂 I’ve had the most amazing experience the last year and a half. I’ve learned so much and built so many special friendships. How can it be otherwise when people’s lives depend on us knowing each other well enough to be able communicate with minimal words? I’m going to miss those people so much.

As I was getting ready to leave, one of my friends said something I found ironic. She said, “You’re leaving your comfort zone.” I didn’t realize until last night and I don’t know when it happened, but the ER has become my comfort zone!

I purchased my plane tickets and I fly out next Thursday, May 5th! I’m very excited, but you can continue to pray for me. I’m starting to feel torn. I know God has beautiful plans for me, but I don’t want to leave my family and friends.

I’m in the process of packing all of my stuff away in bins in a storage unit to get it out of the way for my family. I’ll be gone for about 3.5 months this time and I’ll reevaluate at that point. If everything goes well, I may go back long-term, or I may find God has other plans.

By the way, I’m fully funded for the next 3 months!! Thank you for being a part of my journey! It’s my goal to update Facebook and my blog on a regular basis over the next few months and I’d love to hear from all of you! I want to keep up with what’s going on in everyone else’s lives, as well! 🙂

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.” Deuteronomy 7:9

3 Days…..

The day is quickly approaching! My flight leaves Friday morning at 6:00am. I am SO excited, but I am starting to feel some anxiety creeping up. I’m not nervous about flying (although I can’t stand it) or actually being there – it may very well be my favorite place in the world. I get scared about leaving. I don’t spend a whole lot of time away from my family, by my own choice, because wherever they are is where I want to be. I hate leaving them. I barely sleep the night before because I’m so sad. I just keep reminding myself that I’ll only be gone one week and then I’ll be really sad because I have to come back.

Prayer requests:
1. Immigration is being really hard to work with lately, and is taking lots of our meds when we get there – pray that our bags won’t even be opened, but if they are, whatever God wants to get through, will get through.
2. I would really appreciate prayers that I don’t get sick on the flights this time. I’m sorry if it’s TMI. 🙂
3. Pray that all of us will be flexible and will work together as a team.
4. It’s my first time going with any medical training, which means I’ll most likely be given even more responsibility…AAHHHH! Pray that God will use me in the way that will bring Him the most glory and that He’ll give me the strength and confidence I need.
5. Pray that God will make His next plans for me clear and that I’ll be able to slow down enough when I get there that I’ll be able to hear Him.
6. As always, physical, emotional, and spiritual protection for the whole group.

Also, my mom’s birthday is August 12th and I’ll miss it. If any of you see her, try to make it special for her, for me. 🙂

I appreciate all of you!

The Lone Survivor

Last night, I watched The Lone Survivor for the first time. Wow. If you’re an adult and haven’t seen it, you need to. It may be one of the hardest things I’ve ever watched, but I am so thankful I did. Now, I did get online and read about it – I know it’s somewhat dramatized. But, I do know war is a terrible thing and awful things do happen.

After seeing the movie, I’m even more disappointed in our leaders and where they’re taking our country. How can they look at our soldiers, both the ones still living and fighting and the millions who have given their lives, and not feel guilt? These men and women have given up not only the little pleasures in life, the modern conveniences, but their families, their lives, and often their sense of security if they make it home. They go to places where the people are oppressed and abused and give everything they have to make someone else’s life better. They face their greatest fears with bravery. How can our leaders look at what these soldiers do and basically spit on their accomplishments? How can they allow illegal aliens to stay in our country, without knowing if they’re terrorists and what their intents are in our country; not only allow them, but give them licenses and identities as Americans? At the same time, how can they continue to deny admittance to the people who need it most, and refuse to intervene on Pastor Saeed’s behalf? How can they pull our troops out of Afghanistan before the Afghan people are able to defend themselves, allowing the terrorists to take over again?

Our soldiers have offered their lives for us! Of course they didn’t want to die, but if they already gave us the ultimate gift, why are we wasting it?!? I’m going to guess the soldiers currently fighting don’t want to come back home early, just to watch everything go back to the way it was! Accept these incredible peoples’ gift of life and make the most of it! Keep America the free, shining beacon on a hill so we can continue to send our services to others in need! Keep our country protected, so we’re available to rescue the nations still being oppressed! I believe the best, “Thank you,” we can give to our soldiers is to continue to allow America to be a haven of safety and opportunity, so we can continue to offer the same to our neighbors and friends. So thank a soldier, and continue to pray that our leaders’ eyes will be opened. Make some phone calls to your representative, write letters, contribute to a care package for a soldier, and teach your children to appreciate and protect our freedom. Don’t forget the sacrifice!

Open Hands

I can’t believe there are only 15 days until I leave!

The other night I realized my brother, Nathan, is 1 month older than I was when I took my first trip to Haiti. I was only 16 and 8 months, yet my parents trusted God enough to send me all by myself (with a group, but only knowing 1 person), on 3 flights each direction, across the ocean, to a 3rd world country, to touch and be touched by my new friends in Haiti. I am so grateful that they did, and still do, hold me with an open hand, so when God says, “go,” they let me go. Not only do they let me, they encourage me to follow God’s call and help me prepare for my trips. I have incredible parents.

Continuing prayers for this trip are appreciated! I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me this time!

Why Not Recognize Moms?

You know, some people are posting things on social media that talk about not having moms stand up at church because it may hurt women who haven’t had the honor and privilege of being a mom. I disagree with that. I know some women are hurting on Mother’s Day and I absolutely thing we should keep our eyes open and look for a way to let those women know we care about them, too, but moms deserve a day to be recognized. Because I live at home, I see everything through which my mom goes. I see all of the help she gives with homework, all of the cleaning and washing laundry she does, all of the teaching and praying she does for each one of us, all of the fights she has to break up, and all of the planning she does to make life and learning fun. She deserves a day to be seen and heard and loved. We can’t disregard everything moms do and give so we don’t illuminate other women’s hurt. As a single woman whose dream is to have kids, I can relate to these women. I know I’m young, but I still hurt sometimes. However, I don’t feel degraded by recognizing women who have had the honor of being a mom. The only thing different about this day, is that we’re looking at a mother and saying, “Thank you for being a mom.”

On the same note, I want to remind you to recognize the women who carried babies and gave them up for adoption when they wanted a better life for their babies, specifically the birth mothers of my brother and sister. These moms made a huge sacrifice, and they, also, deserve to be recognized and remembered. Also, the foster moms who care for these babies until they can go to their forever homes deserve to be thanked.

Thank you to all of the women who are moms, birth mothers, foster moms, and the women, such as teachers, aunts, and special friends who give their lives to love children!!! You are special!

By the way, here is the post I wrote about my own mom last Mother’s Day – “Mother’s Day.” 🙂

What’s Next?

Friends, I have some exciting news!!  After 3 1/2 years away, I get to return to Haiti!  I’ve been waiting and waiting for God to tell me what’s next, as He doesn’t usually tell me until right before, what I’m supposed to do – He told me in July of 2010 that I was supposed to go to nursing school and I applied to the local community college and started the prerequisites in September of 2010.  For the last few months, I’ve been struggling with some worry.  I was coming to the end of my degree and I was about to graduate as an RN, and I had no idea what was next.  Visit Haiti short term?  Move to Haiti?  Work as an RN in Labor and Deliver?  Another part of the hospital?  Go on to continue my education?  I trusted that God would tell me what I was supposed to do, but I still felt like I had to figure it out.  I felt like I had to decide.  Then I remembered that I have one purpose in life – to bring glory to God.  I am simply a vessel to lead others to Him.  If I’m allowing Him to use me, He will tell me what I’m supposed to do in His perfect timing.  I can rest in His perfect peace and wait for Him to open the door for me.  My only job is to knock on the doors He puts in front of me, so that’s what I’ve been doing.  The other night I received an e-mail inviting me to go to Haiti on August 8th!  About a week before the paperwork is due, nonetheless.  I will be going with a group of about 16 people and we’ll be holding medical clinics in villages surrounding St. Ard, where I usually stay.  I am so excited!  I’m trusting God to work out every part of this trip, including the finances, so I’d appreciate your prayers. 🙂  I’ll post more soon, as I have a lot of big changes coming in my life. 🙂

 

Resolutions or Goals?

New Year’s resolutions – some people religiously make them every year; some people just as religiously refuse to make them; others it depends on the year. Personally, I would rather make goals. I don’t have anything against resolutions and I made them when I was little, but since then, I’ve realized a couple of things –

1.) As soon as I break one of my resolutions, I feel like I failed and don’t feel like getting back up and trying again.

2.) I have a fresh start at the beginning of each semester of school, each month, each new week, and every single day! Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “His mercies are new every morning!” I don’t need a new year for a fresh start and to make new resolutions! I make resolutions almost very night and I mess them up soon after waking up. But I have another try every single morning!

I listen to Klove all the time and a couple of days ago, I heard someone suggest setting goals instead of resolutions. I guess I’ve done this for a while, I just hadn’t put it into words. Some of my goals for this year are:

1. Graduate from nursing school and pass boards
2. Spend some time in Haiti
3. Pass all of my check-offs as a student nurse so I can advance to a level 3
4. Plus others I’m not ready to share yet 🙂

Instead of making resolutions this year, I challenge you to set goals and when you fall down, accept God’s gift of grace and new beginnings and start over. Happy New Year and may 2014 be blessed!!

Humility

How do you accept and appreciate the fact that you’re good at things, without becoming prideful? Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goeth before a fall, and a haughty spirit before destruction.” Proverbs 11:2 says, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” Proverbs 16:5 says, “The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.” Proverbs 8:13 says, “Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.”
The Bible goes on and on and on. I’ve struggled with this concept for a while. Does that mean that I convince myself I’m not good at anything; that it’s all in how people see me and my talents? I’m supposed to see myself as God’s creation and since He created me in His image and He’s prefect, does it mean pride isn’t as big of a sin as it’s made out to be?

After expressing my confusion to my incredibly wise Mom, she said I’m supposed to accept that I’m good at things and that I have talents, but only because God gave them to me. If God hadn’t blessed me with these gifts, I would have nothing and I would be nothing. He gave them to me so I can use them to bring Him glory. So basically, I should have pride in God and humility in myself. I hope this shines even a fraction of light on this subject for you, as it did for me.

I’m so thankful for the parents with whom God saw fit to bless me. They have made it their number one goal to make sure all of their kids grew up knowing their Creator and having a personal relationship with Him, and they continue to work to that end.