Stretching and Growing

I made it through six weeks of this semester! I only have 10 weeks left before I get the entire summer school-free!! I literally have not had a summer with no school, well, now that I think of it, my entire life! When I was homeschooled, I got May, August, and December off so I could still have three months off a year, but not all at once to where I would forget things. And then when I started college, I wanted to get done as quickly as possible, so I took classes every summer. I am SO excited to have this break!

I’ve had this post written for over a week now, I just haven’t had time to look over it, correct it, figure out how to insert a hyperlink, and actually get it posted. But here it is (finally)…..

I really don’t like it when God stretches me.  It’s uncomfortable, causes me a lot of stress, and is often painful.  When I was 5 years old, my mom says I refused to leave our front porch to go to our friends’ house because I was so scared.  They lived next door.  15 yards away. Obviously God’s worked on me quite a bit. I mean, I went to Haiti, for the first time, by myself, when I was 16! 🙂  Last semester I couldn’t believe how much God stretched me.  At the beginning of the semester, I could barely make myself go to class because I was so shy and scared.  By the end of the semester, I was answering call lights (at the nursing home) on my own, initiating conversation with patients, holding conversations with my classmates, and not afraid to go to the store or other places by myself.  I, mistakenly, thought that since He had grown me so much, He would be done with me for now.  Wow, was I wrong!  I found out this week that at my clinicals on Tuesdays, it’s my job to talk to residents about their lives and their diseases so I can learn more about them.  I also found out that my patient doesn’t offer information – I have to ask questions.  I, a shy introvert, has to carry the conversation for at least an hour at a time, with patients who have Schizophrenia.  By the end of the next 6 weeks, I have a feeling I’ll be able to carry a conversation with anyone for any length of time.  Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a little; probably not for any length of time.  By the time I got home on Tuesday, I had a headache and was so tired, I went and took a nap. 

I know I’ll appreciate all of this experience later, but man, I hate being stretched!  But I’m willing to let Him do it because I want to bring Him glory with my life, and I know He has a purpose. 

I love Chris Tomlin’s music.  His lyrics are so meaningful and his songs are “catchy” and easy to sing.  So “not to me, but to His name be the glory.” 

http://youtu.be/nwWzhEIlxUo

Time for Clinicals!

This semester, my second semester of clinicals in nursing school, I’m taking a free-elective typing course, Advanced Pharmacology, Medical-Surgical Nursing 2, Mental Health, Med-Surge clinical, and Mental Health clinical. For the last 4 weeks, I haven’t had any clinicals because they want us to learn some of the material before we go use it in a hospital setting. Only having 4 classes has made the last several weeks fly by, but my “easy” couple of weeks are over as of tonight!! Starting tomorrow (and for the next 6 weeks), I’ll have to drive about 45 minutes to a mental facility every Tuesday where I’ll spend 8.5 hour days (7:00-3:30) working with clients. And starting Wednesday (for the next 12 weeks), I’ll drive about 30 minutes to a local hospital and spend 8 hours (7:00-3:00) at my med surge clinicals. I’m not really nervous because I did this last semester, only at a nursing home. I think I know what to expect (as much as is possible) and I’m anxious to complete this next leg of my journey. I’m thankful I get to wear “business casual” clothes to my mental health clinicals instead of my uniform scrubs!! But I’m NOT so thankful I have to get up by 5:15 2 days a week. 🙂

Anyway, I would greatly appreciate your prayers that I’ll stay healthy (the consequences for missing clinicals are AWFUL), get enough rest, learn a lot, and have fun. And be able to keep up with the massive amounts of homework and numerous tests. 🙂 And I’m happy to pray for you, too, if you want! Just let me know!

First Impressions

I should know better than to trust appearances because I’m always so worried about how I come across. I’m so shy that I don’t like to initiate eye contact and my mom has said that people could easily think I don’t want to be around them. Just FYI, it’s not necessarily true. I enjoy watching people and talking to them, I just have a hard time initiating any contact. 🙂

Anyway, first-impressions…..Everyone makes them. But I don’t like doing it because so often I’m proven completely wrong! We had a mom and her two daughters stop by today to look at some of our furniture to possibly buy and when I looked at them, I came to an initial conclusion based on what they looked like. (Why do we always do that?) After holding several minutes conversation, we came to the topic of why they needed the furniture, and the mom mentioned something about how God is always faithful. By the end of the conversation, we found out she had recently gone through a divorce and they had to leave their home in the country and move to an apartment, the older daughter goes to AU and wants to found a non-profit organization, and the younger daughter goes to Liberty Christian School and her teacher last year is one of my best friends. Everything the lady said exuded a love and passion for Jesus Christ. She kept giving Him glory for everything He’s done for them and repeatedly said she trusts Him and knows He has them in His hand.

It’s a good thing God’s willing to give me a fresh start every time I’m truly sorry and ask for forgiveness. I don’t have to face the eternal consequences of my sins because He, a perfect man – GOD – died for ME. His grace astounds me. Because I sure mess things up a lot!

How Cancer has Changed Our Lives

The doctor called yesterday and said Mom is still cancer-free 20 months after her last treatment!!

About 3 1/2 years ago, my mom went to the doctor for a routine mammogram. The doctor told her they had found some suspicious lumps in her breast, but they were probably caused by too much caffeine. They sent her home and told her to come back in 6 months. When she went back 6 months later, the doctor scheduled her for an ultrasound the same day to confirm her diagnosis of breast cancer with lymph node involvement.

We began an extremely long, exhausting journey fighting cancer. After a biopsy, we were told Mom had “triple negative breast cancer.” Triple negative grows very quickly and must be treated aggressively. Hormone therapy, instead of killing the cancer cells, actually feed triple negative cancer cells, and so can’t be used as treatment. In the following year and a half, she went through 2 rounds of chemo, radiation, a double mastectomy, a total hysterectomy, and another round of chemo, with several emergency surgeries mixed in (gall bladder removal and several infections). We couldn’t have fought the fight against cancer without the amazing people who prayed, sent cards and flowers to make our home brighter, brought multiple meals to feed our large family, took Mom to treatments, stayed with or kept us kids during surgeries, cleaned our house when Mom was so sick she couldn’t get off the couch, ran errands, and everything else I’m forgetting.

When we were told Mom was in remission, we were also told that she had an 80% chance of the cancer returning within a year, in her brain, bones, liver, or lungs. At which point she would be given about 3 months to live. She surpassed that year mark about 8 months ago without her cancer returning!! We are so grateful!!

Now she goes back to the doctor every 4 months to be retested to find out if the cancer has returned. Each time we find out she’s still cancer-free, there’s usually a momentary relief, quickly followed by an underlying nervousness that stays until her next test. Obviously I’m still learning to trust God in all things. It’s so hard to hand someone else, even if He is the God of the universe, your mom’s life, knowing He may allow her to get cancer again, or even die because of it. I hope and pray I have many, many years left with her.

Meanwhile, Mom has been researching cancer-fighting and preventative foods and what the Bible says about what we should be eating. Dad has been doing a wonderful job of learning to cook “healthy,” with a vegetable base (a hard job, having come from an Amish background). And Mom has been trying to exercise several times a week as that also fights cancer. We’re thankful for each new day we wake up and all of us are healthy.

(The pictures above are of our first family vacation we were able to take just before Mom was diagnosed, Cousin Camp during treatment, Mom’s last radiation treatment, and our family at my cousin’s Confirmation several months after Mom’s last chemo treatment.)

Courtship

One of my very favorite Bible verses is Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Actually, “…guard your heart, Pr 4:23” is what’s inscribed on the purity ring my parents got me. “Guard your heart” means, to me, that I should be careful what I watch on tv, what music I listen to, what I say and hear, and most of all, that I don’t give any piece of my heart away to anyone except for my husband. My parents made the decision when I was tiny (and as I get older, I wholeheartedly concur), that our family wasn’t going to do the dating scene. We’re intending to do courtship. This means that when I meet someone and decide, mutually (me, my parents, the man, and his family if appropriate), that person may be the one God has chosen for my partner – a Christian who loves God and puts Him first in his life, a man who loves and respects his parents and siblings, has a job and is financially able to provide for a family, and is responsible and mature, we will begin to “date with the intention of marriage.” Additionally, courtship means we won’t go places off by ourselves….we’ll spend time with our families and friends. We’ll get to know each other in the context of families, in part because it’s harder to be someone you aren’t when you’re with the people who know you best.

I have chosen not to date because if I was to date multiple people, I would be giving a piece of my heart to each of them. And then, when I met my future husband, all I would have left to give him, would be a PIECE of my heart. I want to be able to give him all of my heart, and with it, the knowledge that he’s the only one I’ve ever loved. I came across this picture on Facebook, and absolutely loved it. 🙂

Before you ask the question most often asked, “But how will you know if this is your future husband without dating him first?,” let me answer it. 🙂 I DON’T know. I just know that God has been faithful over and over again to make His will clear to me. He finds a way to let me know what He wants.

My parents have done an amazing job of teaching me that I have a responsibility to men, as well. I need to do my best to make sure I’m not causing the men around me to sin. I try to dress modestly, speak about appropriate things, and treat men and women, both, as just friends.

This is a difficult concept to explain, and sometimes a controversial one, so I hope I haven’t just confused you more. If you have any questions, I’m more than happy to answer them.

 

 

Tests in Nursing School

My mom tagged me in this picture on Facebook and it is SO true!  As a perfectionist and a normally straight-A student, it’s frustrating and discouraging!  I have my first real test of the semester tomorrow, so I would appreciate your prayers!

“Neither slaver…

“Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.” -13th Amendment to the Constitution

I wish I had been there when the 13th amendment to the Constitution was signed into law. The excitement, relief, and joy in that room must have been amazing! My family and I went to see Lincoln, the movie, tonight and it was amazing. It was incredibly convicting and inspiring.

Many, many people – millions of people, have fought for this incredible nation. Fathers, sons, brothers, uncles, nephews, friends (not to mention the women in later years), fought in horrible wars to secure our freedom; to secure the freedom of Americans, refugees from other countries, white people, black people, and people of all religions. They gave their limbs and lives so that we would be free and safe. If we don’t stand up for what we believe, we’re throwing away these peoples’ sacrifice! It’s our responsibility to make sure this freedom lasts for future generations. It’s our responsibility to inform ourselves about what’s going on in our country and around the world. We have to take a stand on issues and defend and promote those ideas. We have to vote for the leaders we believe best represent our beliefs.

One of the House Representatives in the movie brought to mind an amazing point. He believed, with all of his heart, in “racial equality,” but in order to get the votes needed to ratify the 13th Amendment, he was willing to compromise. He said the purpose of the 13th Amendment was to require for all races, “equality before the law.” It is very unlikely I’ll ever find a presidential candidate who believes exactly as I do. Even then, I can’t sit at home and say, “I don’t agree with everything this candidate believes, so I’m just not  going to vote.” I have to compromise. I have to list my beliefs and convictions in order of importance to me, and then look at each candidate’s beliefs and compare them with mine. Then I have to choose the candidate who I believe will best represent me. If I choose not to vote, I’m throwing away the lives of everyone who fought for me, because I’m not willing work with other Americans to keep our nation great.

I was also struck with how “real” politics were 150 years ago. Although it was proven in the time of Lincoln’s presidency that the president needs more protection, until then, the president was approachable. Ordinary people could talk to him, he didn’t have a bunch of body guards, he and his family weren’t looked to for fashion advice, he was just…..there. He was trustworthy. When asked a question, he would answer and that was all the people needed. He was a vessel “for the people.” He wasn’t in it for himself, but to make life better for all Americans. It’s astounding how much politics have changed. Now everything politicians say is questioned and investigated because they have been found to be untruthful or dishonest in the past.

I highly recommend Lincoln and I hope you’re inspired and convicted, no matter what your beliefs are.