Si Bondye Vle……

​Si Bondye vle (see Bon-je vle)…… If God wants……

A saying spoken often in Haiti. At first it was frustrating…… 

“Are we doing ‘blank’ tomorrow?” 

Si Bondye vle……. 

“This will be fixed in a few minutes…..”

Si Bondye vle…….

“Will this person be here from the mountains tomorrow?” 

Si Bondye vle…….

In Haiti, a huge percentage of people can’t read or write, so word of mouth is essentially a contract. As one of the other interns often explained it, if you tell someone you’ll see them tomorrow, but you don’t, the next time you see that person, they may be quite angry with you because you didn’t follow through. However, in Haiti, things often come up, keeping what you had planned from happening. For instance, if you’re expecting a visitor or someone is supposed to come help you with something, but it starts to rain, there’s a very good chance you won’t see that person because the roads may quickly become impassible. 

Today, I was supposed to drop our group off at the airport, stop at the store to get a few groceries, and meet my friends back at home for plans they had made. However, we got to the airport and dropped off the group, and one of our drivers said we needed to run to the mechanic to pick up our vehicle that was being fixed. When we got to the mechanic, we found out they didn’t have the right piece until Saturday, so they didn’t even start working on our vehicle until we got there this morning. When they finished, they went to lunch, forgetting to sign some piece of paper…. We ended up hanging out at the mechanic for 3 hours and didn’t get back home until 4:15, instead of 11:30. Such is life in Haiti.

I’ve come to appreciate and love this saying! 

“I’ll be there……si Bondye vle.” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow…..si Bondye vle.” 

“I’ll take out your sutures on Friday…….si Bondye vle.” 

It’s saying, “I’m doing my best to follow through on my word, but God may have other plans.”

What a beautiful way to live life!

Lessons from Haiti

​Don’t you just love it when God convicts you of something? It’s even better when He chooses several things in one day….. The best, yet, is when He uses an entire chapter of the Bible and addresses all of these things at the same time.

*I’m being sarcastic, by the way.*

When I can, I’ve really enjoyed grabbing one of our drivers and making the 30 minute trip to Saintard to go to church, where I’ve gone most of my previous trips to Haiti. I have lots of friends there, and it’s nice to get away for a few hours. When I went last Sunday, one of the texts was Romans 12. When I got home, I decided I was going to look at it further….. Wow. That chapter addresses so many things with which I’ve been struggling.

• “Do not confirm to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing, and perfect will.” Vs 2

It’s not only ok to be different, it’s GOOD! One of the things about which I’m tempted to worry is, “Where does He want me next? Is there a place for me here at Children’s Lifeline? Is there another organization where I’m supposed to spend some time? Or does He have another plan, altogether?” If I allow God to work in me and form me, I’ll be able to discern His plan for my life!

• “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” Vs 3-4

While sometimes I have to be careful not to become proud and think I’m the only one who could have taken care of something, more often I think I need to be reminded that I’m part of a body. I have as much of a role in this place and at this time, as each of the other people here.

• “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.” Vs 6-8

God gave me gifts and I need to be using them for His glory, even if it takes every speck of courage I have. I need to walk over to the orphanage and spend time with the kids, even though I don’t like walking through the village by myself because everyone stares at the one white person. Ugh. 

I also like the part that says not only to show mercy, but to do it cheerfully, not begrudgingly. Wow.

• “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Vs 11-12

Every situation I face is an opportunity to draw closer to God. Please pray for me that my first reaction is to go to Him in prayer!

• “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” Vs 13

Regardless of how tired I am, how emotional I am, or how many things are on my list to accomplish, God has placed me here at this time to host groups of people who have come to love on my friends and family. My job is to practice hospitality.

• “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Vs 15

Even though I don’t like to show emotions, as a Christian, it’s one of the things I’m called to do.

• “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” Vs 16

Even those who are incredibly difficult people with whom to get along……

• “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Vs 18

It’s my job to be a peacemaker! Even when it’s so hard!

Every day God is teaching me something new. One of my absolute favorite things about Haiti is how I’m forced to rely completely on Him for everything.

I’ve watched as my daily journaling has gone from listing the day’s events at the beginning of this journey, to now telling stories, sharing emotions, and praying for/about so many situations, all mixed up together. It’s like an ongoing conversation with Jesus. It’s so sweet to be able to talk to Him like I would any of my friends sitting next to me. I can ask questions, share disappointments, pray for friends and family, and just talk through situations. As I grow closer to Him, I can feel Him gently nudging me in different directions. And I’m finding, once again, what a blessing “His mercies are new every morning” is. 

Living in Haiti is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. This place is physically beautiful, yes, but it’s also beautiful because of the lessons it teaches. My sister wrote to me, today, “Not many people are able to follow their passion like you have. You’re pretty lucky.” I’m not only lucky, I’m blessed. Thank you for walking this journey with me, friends!

Emotions

Life in the States and life in Haiti are both exhausting, but it’s a different kind of exhausting. In the States, I would come home from work physically tired. I would take care of many, many people each day and while some of them stuck with me and I still think about them, wondering how they’re doing, I went home and put the day behind me. It was rewarding when I could save a life or relieve pain or treat someone who really needed it.

In Haiti, I’m finding life is emotionally exhausting. Almost every night (and sometimes during the day) I’m surprised to find myself crying. I am NOT an emotional person. I’m an ER nurse! Many shifts, one of my patients would die and I would set it aside until later and go in the next room and take care of my next patient. I took care of many, many tired, angry people and it didn’t bother me. But now I’m living in a third-world country where my friends can’t get the care they need, or even their basic needs met! I’m falling in love with people whose problems I can do nothing to fix! I can’t stop the seizures of the little boy in my arms! I can’t get a diagnosis and treatment for the sweetest baby you’ll ever meet, but who is losing muscle tone and who at 10 months can’t sit up and who some days has trouble holding her head up! Even in my tiny village in Haiti, I can’t fix anything! It’s so discouraging and frustrating and exhausting and unfair.

So I go to bed and cry and then I get up the next morning and I go hug my babies. I get up and go spend 11 hours at the hospital to try to get answers. I get up and talk to more people and try to find solutions. I get up and try again. I do it because God sent me here to love these people. I do it because I’ve fallen in love with these people. I pray each one of them can get even a tiny picture of just how much Jesus loves them. I may not be able to fix their problems, but I pray they know how much I love them.

Please pray my spiritual well is dug deeper and deeper. I need Jesus. Please pray my relationship with Him is strengthened every moment of every day. Please pray for these incredible people. Please pray they’ll rely on Him for their needs and don’t look elsewhere, regardless of how appealing it looks. I’ll never be able to thank you enough, but thank you for your ministry of prayer to the Haitian people and to me.

I’m Moving to Haiti!

Yesterday I announced to friends and family that God has opened the doors for me to move to Haiti! I’ve been offered a summer internship with Children’s Lifeline in LaDigue, Haiti, with the potential of it becoming a long-term position! If you check out my GoFundMe account, I posted more details.

Since I told everyone, I’ve gotten a lot of questions about why I’m fundraising, why I’m not planning to “work” in Haiti (at least not yet), and how I’m going to provide for myself. Here is one of the many reasons!

There are very few jobs in Haiti. The majority of Haitians have training in many various occupations, but nowhere to use their training. The unemployment rate is around 40.6%, with the tax rate at 24%.
80% of Haitians live below the poverty line. The average Haitian who has a job brings home approximately $2 for each full day of work. $2!! There are parents who are dropping their kids off at orphanages because they can’t provide for them. There are children who can’t go to school because their parents can’t afford the $30 fee per month. People die of starvation every single day.

Who am I to come into the country and take one of the already very few jobs? Who am I to expect to be paid enough money to provide for myself? I believe one of my missions is to make it possible for one more family to stay together. I want to keep one more child off the streets. I want to enable one more Haitian to obtain an education. I love these people. I want to help them; not take their resources. I want to give them more resources!

Each dollar you donate not only enables me to go show Jesus’ love, it provides another job. We hire Haitians to help out on the compound, run errands, and to work as security, therefore putting another meal on an empty table and giving hope where there may not have been before.

There are so many worthy causes you could support with your money and I don’t take your support for granted in the least. And as I’ve said before, if you’re not in the position to give, please don’t feel pressured – your prayers are just as important to me and I appreciate them so much. I hope this helps you better understand why your support is so important. It touches not only me, but by extension, the Haitian families I’ll be reaching.