God has recently revealed to me that I’m a very insecure person. I mean, I’ve always known that I’m insecure. But He is opening my eyes to the fact that my insecurities are getting in the way of my relationships. Especially, more recently, my relationships with my family. I worry about what other people think of me. So to make myself feel better, I put myself before others.
Genesis 29-30 tells the story of how Jacob worked for 7 years to marry Rachel, the younger daughter of Laban, only to find out he had actually married, Leah, the older daughter. Laban promised that if Jacob honored the “bridal week” of his daughter Leah, he would then give Rachel to Jacob in exchange for another 7 years’ work. On top of being jealous and angry, I would imagine Leah felt quite insecure in Jacob’s love. In fact, the Bible says that she named her first son Reuben, because “surely my husband will love me now.” After her third son was born, she said “now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” And it continued because after bearing her sixth son, she was still saying “this time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him six sons.” Like Leah, sometimes I think “If I say this, surely they’ll think I’m smart,” when in reality, I’m probably just making the other person feel badly about themselves and driving a wedge between us. Is it worth it? All that should matter is what God thinks of me. And if I’m tearing others down in order to build myself up, I can’t imagine God is very proud of me.
My whole family is extremely competitive. We can make just about anything into a competition. And we do. Including “who can get their homework done first?” Or “whose room looks best?” Or even something like “who can stand in the snow barefoot the longest?” Sometimes we forget to make sure the spirit of the competition stays positive. Often it ends with someone getting hurt. When we compete, usually it’s just for fun, but other times we’re doing it to build ourselves up. We’re not thinking about what’s best for everyone else, but what will make us feel better about ourselves.
Ephesians 4:1-32 says, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” My goal in life should be to live with humility and gentleness and to strive to make others feel better about themselves. I was created IN HIS IMAGE. YOU were created in His image. We can’t get much better than that. That should be all the assurance of my worth that I need.
Fruit Worthy 